When I finished my work contract last July, I was exhausted. I was completely burnt out from the weeks over the winter where I had worked 60 hours a week, working evenings and weekends to make the project a success. But in the end, it wasn’t a success. Facing funding issues, the project was taken over by the oversight team, management and most of the contract staff were let go and a large portion of the project was cut. I disagreed with the way things were handled on a number of levels, and was glad when I finally got to leave. After I left I didn’t check in with friends still on the project to see how things were going. I didn’t want to know, and I didn’t care. It was time to let go and to move on, and I was ready.
What I wasn’t ready for was putting the pieces of my life back together. Since I had spent so much time focusing on the project, the rest of my life was completely out of balance. The pendulum swung the opposite direction, and I spent a lot of time sleeping in. I was tired all the time. When I wasn’t sleeping I rode my bike as much as possible. I had absolutely no desire to find another job, and that was okay as I was still being paid for the work I’d done on my previous contract. I found it hard to focus on anything, and I let my yoga practice fall to the wayside. I was lost.
I asked the universe for guidance, and looking back I believe I really did need to take the long way home. In the last five months I’ve rediscovered my truly creative self, someone I had lost when I left for college many years ago. She’d been trying to come back for years, but I had been too focused on other things to give her the attention she needed. Now I’m almost overwhelmed with creative energy, so much that I sometimes have a hard time falling asleep at night. I’ve rediscovered a rhythm in my life, and find that while my days are not filled with office work, they are happily filled nonetheless. And I’ve found my way back to the yoga mat, and to the peace, balance and sense of center that it brings. I am grounded, and more complete than I was before.
I am still looking for work. There are few positions in my industry as most companies put their project work on hold when the economy dips. But still I’m optimistic. I have more faith than ever that things will work out the way they are meant to. The path ahead is foggy and it’s hard to see what’s coming up, but I know that I’m ready for whatever life brings.